he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
