Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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