The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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