i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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