just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
