Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
