is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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