i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
