i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
