Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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