that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
