why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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