fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My vagina is officially offended.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
