watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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