my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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