She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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