He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
