i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
