the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
