what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
