Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
