do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
