so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
