Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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