I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
