I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
