babies were throwing up all over the place
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
