My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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