hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
