So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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