I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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