Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
