someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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