11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Randomize
