Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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