But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
kristin has been a bad kristin
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
