Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
