You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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