i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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