What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
