I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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