He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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