So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
