So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
