he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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