meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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