my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
