Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
