Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
