Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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