come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
time to smoke my breakfast
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
