well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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