it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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