What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
