I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude i'm inner monologue high
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
